Stranger Than You Dreamt It
by OhShizNit
Summary: RS angst that turns into fluff. What happens when Sirius stumbles on something that Remmie never meant for him to see?


**A/N: This is just a little angsty thing that I wrote a long time ago, but haven't put up yet because my beta is constantly plagued by evil Spanish homework. I got the idea after watching Phantom of the Opera and thought that the song "Stranger Than You Dreamt It" fit Remmie PERFECTLY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Phantom of the Opera, or Romeo and Juliet. They belong to J.K. Rowling, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and William Shakespeare respectively.**

**Stranger Than You Dreamt It**

Remus Lupin stormed into the Gryffindor common room and kicked the trunk next to his bed. Angry tears welled up in his eyes, but he rubbed them from his eyes furiously. He was _not_ going to cry. He'd already been humiliated enough. He wasn't going to further it by having one of his friends walk in on him crying. That would be the final nail in his proverbial coffin. His friends already thought he was weak and fragile. None of them had ever been so cruel as to say it to him, but he saw it in their eyes and in their actions. He wasn't fool enough not to notice the glances they shot each other when they thought he wasn't looking. He'd seen Sirius automatically start forward to steady him whenever Remus faltered in his steps after a full moon. He'd seen the way they'd eye the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and he despised it. His friends thought he was weak and that was all there was to it. He was determined to prove them wrong.

He could feel hot pinpricks of tears at the corner of his eyes and grimaced. Thinking about this wasn't helping. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenching into fists at his side, desperate to stop the maelstrom that was coming. Emotion broiled up in him, a tumultuous sea of anger and fear sloshing around inside him. Despite his efforts, a sound that was caught between a sob and a wail of despair rose in his throat and spilled out his mouth. It was if that sound had opened the floodgate. Tears came tumbling from his eyes and streaked down his face, leaving angry little trails behind them. His whole body shook and he felt as if his world were collapsing . He made a futile effort to wipe the tears from his face and eyes with his shaking hands, but for every tear that he wiped away, two more took its' place.

Remus glanced at his bed, and noticing that it was clear of debris or clutter, just as it always was, he flung himself onto it. He wrenched the hangings shut violently, and they ripped from their posts and fell to the floor. He scowled angrily and pulled his wand out and mumbled "_Repairo" _and gave a half-hearted flick of his wand The hangings rose a few inches before collapsing on the floor again. He dismissed it at once, not caring at the shoddiness of his spell casting. He was too emotional. As he bit his lip in frustration at his own weakness, he pressed the heels of hands to his eyes. Suddenly, fury welled up in him and as he sat up on the bed, it glowed in his amber eyes. He tried his best to suppress it, but he could feel it consuming him, making the wolf-like side of him come out. He sat there on his bed for a few seconds, his chest rising and falling rapidly as the blood pounded through his veins and rang in his ears, seemingly giving a melody to the utter fury he felt. Finally, he was able to open his mouth and give words to this song that beat in him. "Damn you, Sirius!"

He sank back down as a moment of clarity took him. Of course. How could he have not seen it before? This was all Padfoot's doing. The entire thing had been Sirius's fault and it could have been easily avoided if it wasn't for Sirius being the total prat that he always was. Remus laughed softly to himself as he realized that the two most embarrassing and humiliating times in his life had been a direct result of Sirius Black's actions. There was the incident with Snape and the Whomping Willow the year before and now this devastating turn of events. Remus felt a bubble of anger rising in him again, and this time he just gave into it. It felt good to be angry at someone besides himself. How could Sirius have been so _stupid?_ Didn't he realize that Remus had rules for a reason and that Sirius couldn't just go breaking them whenever he felt like it? Why didn't he listen?! Remus closed his mind as the sequence of events played over in his mind again.

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_It was a full moon and it was one of the most difficult months he'd ever experienced. Moony was being particularly relentless and was not willing to give Remus much control. He wanted to go and hunt and be free to run in the Forbidden Forest. Being caged up like a beast grew more and more distressing each year. The werewolf sank down onto the ground and rested his large head on his front paws. As he looked around the room with it's scratched up furniture, he took in the sight of his pack mates. The stag, the rat, and the dog. _

_He wasn't sure why the stag and the rat where there. They were prey food. However, the human wouldn't let him touch them, telling him that they were "friends." Moony wasn't quite sure about that. They smelled too tasty to be whatever a "friend" was. Nonetheless, he left them alone. The dog didn't like it when he got too predatory with them. He would bark at Moony and growl, taking up a defensive stance in front of the stag while the rat squeaked and trembled on his back. Moony didn't like it when the dog did that. It made him feel like the dog was challenging his position as leader of the pack. For some reason, something stopped him from ever attacking the dog to prove his authority. _

_He felt close to the dog, his only true pack mate. He and the dog bonded in a way that Moony had never bonded to another animal before. He guessed it had something to do with the human. _

_Keeping his head on his paws, he angled his head towards the dog and let out a low whine. The dog raised his head from where he'd been curled up and looked at Moony. The stag and the rat looked at him too. He ignored the stag and the rat and let out another whine. The dog stood up now and padded over to where Moony sat. He laid down in front of Moony so that their noses were close together and stared at the moody werewolf. Moony took a deep breath and then sighed. The dog cocked his head at Moony and crawled closer so that he was very near to him. The werewolf raised his head and gently licked the side of the dog's snout in greeting. The dog leaned forward and nipped Moony's ear affectionately. Moony returned the gesture. The dog stood up from where it was sitting and moved so that it was sitting right next to Moony, his head resting right between Moony's shoulders. Moony sensed something at that moment that he knew belonged to the human and not him. _

_He was suddenly distracted from the foreign feeling when he sensed movement in the far end of the room. He raised his head suddenly, pushing the dog from him. His eyes took in the sight of the stag standing up, the rat perched on its' back. The stag was walking over to Moony and the dog! A low growl rose from his throat, warning the stag to stay back. The stag kept on advancing, and Moony growled again. The stag stopped this time, starring at Moony. The dog had caught on to what was happening and had trotted in between Moony and the stag. He was nudging the stag to go back to its' corner and to stay away from Moony, but the stag wasn't moving. This upset Moony. He didn't want the stag coming near him. The stag moved past the dog and kept on walking towards Moony. The werewolf rose to his feet and snarled at the snag…_

_Remus jolted awake. He'd been having a dream about the previous night, when he'd been awakened by something tugging at the corners of his mind. Stretching to wake up, he spread his arms out and recoiled as his muscles protested at being used. He frowned. He was sore, but he couldn't remember why. The last thing he'd been able to remember from last night before Moony took complete control was him snarling at James when James wouldn't leave. A knot formed in his stomach. He hoped that he hadn't hurt James. For some reason, Moony didn't like Prongs or Wormtail. He thought they were food and didn't realize that they were one of the reasons he hadn't gone completely mad. He smiled softly as he thought about the fact that Moony liked Padfoot. The only person that Moony ever let get near him was Padfoot. This worked out perfectly for Remus. He had come to terms with the feelings he felt for Sirius a long time ago. However, he didn't want to risk losing Sirius's friendship, so he had never said anything. This way, he was able to get close with Sirius when he was Moony and Sirius never suspected a thing. He just thought it was Moony being friendly. Moony didn't even know what friends were! _

_Remus suddenly felt that strange feeling on the edge of his mind again and his eyes shot open. He remained stone cold still and waited, all of his lupine senses heightened. His ears picked up an almost familiar sound that was coming closer and closer. It sounded like…footsteps. He relaxed as he realized it was just Madame Pomfrey coming to get him and take him to the hospital wing. He scowled. She was much later than normal. He rolled onto his back and let out a hiss of pain. There must be a scrape on his back. He sighed as he realized that it would probably leave another scar. He glanced down at his chest which was crisscrossed with silvery white scars from his transformations over the years. He really, really hated having scars. His hand rose up and his finger traced the thick scar on his shoulder from where he had been bitten, the scar that had started it all. _

_He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the footsteps of Madame Pomfrey grow closer as she neared the Shrieking Shack. She had probably just entered it and would be up in a few minutes to gather him and escort him back to the Hospital Wing where she would patch him up as best she could. Remus frowned when he realized something was off about the footsteps. Normally, Madame Pomfrey had a quick, clipped pace. This sounded different. It sounded almost as if there were two sets of footprints. Maybe she had brought Dumbledore or McGonagall with her this time. The knot in his stomach tightened at the thought of that and a lump formed in his throat. Maybe…maybe he had hurt Prongs or one of his other friends last night. That would be the only reason Madam Pomfrey would bring Dumbledore or McGonagall. He might have seriously hurt one of his friends, perhaps even killed them and now Dumbledore was coming to expel him from Hogwarts. The headmaster could have finally realized what a danger Moony was and didn't want to endanger any more of the students. Tears welled up in Remus's eyes as he thought of that. He really didn't want to leave Hogwarts or his friends. Although, if he had hurt one of them, he would never forgive himself or Moony._

_Suddenly the door opened and Remus jerked his head up to meet his doom. However, instead of an angry McGonagall or a regretful Dumbledore, Padfoot bounded through the door. The shaggy black dog that was his best friend in Animagus form barked at him happily. Padfoot changed back into Sirius and took a step towards him. _

_"Hey Remmie, I thought you'd want some-" Sirius stopped mid-sentence and looked down at Remus. _

_It took a few seconds for Remus to take in the fact that Sirius was standing there. Wait…SIRIUS WAS STANDING THERE!!!!_

_His eyes widened in panic as he looked up and saw the person that he'd been in love with since the day he'd met him staring down at his scar covered body, horror etched onto his face. None of his friends had ever seen his scars. He was afraid that they would be disgusted by it. He wouldn't blame them if they were. Over the last seven years, he'd managed to hide his scars very well. He was always careful to change behind the privacy of his bed hangings and never went in to take showers at the same time as they rest of them. When they'd started coming with him when he transformed into Moony, he'd made them promise that they'd always leave before he changed back into a human. He had told them that it was because he liked to be alone during the actual transformation, but the truth was that he just didn't want them to see his perverse body. It was his deepest shame and now Sirius was looking right at it. _

_He yanked the blanket up around him and glared at Sirius. "What are you doing here?!"_

_Sirius seemed to be momentarily speechless, his eyes flitting from Remus's face to his chest and arms. "I…I…wanted to make sure…" He broke off there and swallowed uneasily before asking stupidly, "Remmie, what happened to you?"_

_"I got bitten by a bloody werewolf when I was three, that's what happened, you dolt! Then I got cursed by having a best friend who can't even listen to the one thing I tell him! Haven't I told you not to come back here after I change?" Remus was shouting now._

_"Yes…but why? It's not because you like being alone, is it? It's because you don't want us to see you, isn't it?" Sirius took a step towards where Remus was still sitting, but stopped when Remus recoiled from him._

_"You just wouldn't understand!" Remus jumped to his feet and ran past Sirius, grabbing the shirt that Sirius had brought him and yanked it on as he ran. He could hear Sirius gasp at the feral look in the young werewolf's eyes, but Remus didn't care. He just wanted to get as far away from Sirius as he could. He was utterly humiliated right now. A few minutes later, he stormed into the Gryffindor common room._

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Anger was replaced with exhaustion and Remus collapsed against his pillow, all his previous aches and pains forgotten. The tears continued to pour from his eyes, but he did nothing to stop them. He mentally cursed Sirius and his stupidity. Even closing his eyes, Remus couldn't block out the look of revulsion that had etched itself onto Sirius's face. He had been disgusted by Remus. Sirius was so perfect and beautiful, the very sight of Remus must have made him ill. Remus cried harder at that thought. He could have survived this mortifying embarrassment if it had been James or Peter who walked in on him, but _why_ did it have to be Sirius? He loved Sirius with everything in him and now Sirius would hate him forever.

A thought suddenly occurred to Remus. What always made him feel better when he felt horrible? Writing! He reached under his mattress and pulled out his journal. As he thumbed through it, he could see all the short snippets and poems he'd written over the last few years. Most of them had something to do with Sirius. He reached a blank page at the end and grabbed a quill and ink from the bag resting on the nightstand next to him. He nibbled on the end of his quill as he contemplated what to write. His other hand fidgeted with the leg of the tattered pajama pants he had been wearing for his transformation. He would probably need to get a new pair by next month.

He thought methodically about what he should write and then realized this was one of those times when it was better to just let the words come instead of thinking about them. He pressed the quill to the paper and the words just spilled out.

_Stranger than you dreamt it_

_Can you even dare to look_

_Or bear to think of me_

_This loathsome gargoyle_

_Who burns in Hell_

_But yearns for Heaven_

_Secretly, secretly_

_Siri…_

_Fear can turn to love_

_You'll learn to see_

_To find the man_

_Behind the monster_

_This repulsive carcass_

_Who seems a beast_

_But secretly _

_Dreams of beauty_

_Secretly, secretly_

_Oh Siri…_

Remus looked down on the poem he'd written. It was a bit more bitter than he'd intended, but it got his feelings across quite well. Rereading it, a new feeling of despair rose up in him. Sirius would never love him now! How could someone who was so wonderful and flawless as Sirius ever love someone who was as troubled as Remus was? He wondered if they'd even be able to be friends now. Sirius was sure to hate him for yelling and having a fit. He'd been absolutely horrid to Sirius! Fresh tears spilled down his face, blotting the pages beneath him, making the ink smear and swirl. He closed the book and tossed it aside. It landed on the floor with a loud thud, falling open to the poem he'd just written. He half-heartedly considered getting up to fix it, but crashed against the pillows instead.

Remus cried himself to sleep. His body desperately needed time to relax and his mind craved an excuse to escape from his current predicament. His sleep was light and fitful. He never quite managed to fall completely asleep, his mind always on that abyss between consciousness and unconsciousness. Dreams and shapes flitted in and out of his mind. He'd wake up from his light sleep with a cry formed on his lips, but he couldn't remember what he had been dreaming about, nor what he was going to cry. An hour passed like this until he finally had enough and decided to give up on trying to sleep.

With no other distractions, he was forced to face the reality of his life. What was he going to do? He'd have to let Sirius make the first move. He was too embarrassed to talk to his fellow Marauder. What could he possibly say? "Sorry, I was a total basket case and went off on you," he pondered aloud.

"Well I wouldn't say a _total_ basket case," came a very familiar voice from behind him. Remus whirled around and saw Sirius leaning on the frame of his bed. Sirius smirked at him before continuing, "just a bit of a basket case." He sat down on the bed and Remus scooted away so that there was space between them. "Besides, I probably deserved to have you go off on me."

He gave Remus a slight smile that Remus knew was Sirius's was of asking Remus to talk to him. Remus could never resist one of Sirius's smiles. He let some of the cold demeanor he'd adopted go and replied, "Yeah, you did deserve it. You completely disrespected the only thing that I've ever asked of you. How could you do that to me, Sirius? I trusted you to stay away! Didn't you realize that I had a _reason_ for not wanting you guys there?!" By the end of his speech, he was shouting again. He really needed to get a handle on that.

Sirius didn't even try to deny the accusations. "I'm sorry, Remmie. I really am! I was just…" He looked up at Remus, his icy blue eyes begging Remus's forgiveness.

"I know you're sorry, Siri. I just don't know if I can forgive you just yet. I'm sure you understand that." Sirius's head and shoulders slumped and he nodded. Remus was reminded of a puppy who was being scolded for chewing up a pair of expensive slippers. It was actually quite adorable. Remus reached out and put his hand on his best friend's shoulder comfortingly. Sirius reached up and put his hand on Remus's, their skin melding together.

Suddenly, Sirius's head shot up and he looked at Remus. "Your reason was because of your scars, right?"

Remus blushed scarlet. He really didn't want to discuss this. He mumbled, "yeah. I didn't want the three of you seeing me like that."

"Why not?"

Remus looked at Sirius questioningly. Wasn't it obvious? "Because the scars show how weak I am. The three of you already think I'm weak-don't deny it-and I didn't want to give you another reason. I mean, I can't even control the wolf in me! I'm pathetic! Plus, the scars are ugly and disgusting and I hate them. I try to hide them, but now you've seen them, and you're going to think I'm a monster. I saw the look on your face at the Shrieking Shack! You were horrified by the sight of me! You're going to hate me now! And I don't blame you! _I_ hate me! I'm a disgusting, ugly freak who's covered in-"

The last part of his rant was cut off by Sirius leaning over and pinning his mouth against the ranting werewolf's. Remus was startled by this and reacted by starting to pull away. Sirius wouldn't let him and leaned closer to Remus, putting his hand on the back of Remus's neck to support his head. Remus was over the initial shock of being kissed by Sirius, the boy he'd been yearning for as long as he could remember. He kissed back passionately, putting all the anger, aggression, emotion, love, and pure unadulterated lust he'd been carrying around into that kiss. He reached out and grasped Sirius by the shoulders, pulling him as close as he could. He savored the taste of Sirius's mouth and the feel of his soft lips against Remus's. For a few precious moments, Remus was in euphoric bliss. Then all of the sudden, it was over. Sirius's mouth was gone and Remus was having difficulty thinking. However, he realized that Sirius's hand was still at the back of his neck, rubbing little circles with his thumb over the nape of Remus's neck, sending tingling little thrills down his spine.

He looked up into Sirius's face. Remus could detect something in his eyes, but he couldn't tell what it was. His eyes traveled down to Sirius's lips. They were pulled apart to reveal his stunning white teeth and looked completely and utterly kissable. Remus was suddenly struck by a line from "Romeo and Juliet" about two blushing pilgrims. He wanted to kiss those lips again.

He was distracted from Sirius's lips when their owner began to speak in a hushed whisper. "Remmie, I never want to hear you talk about yourself like that again. You are not an ugly, disgusting freak. You are so beautiful." Remus started to protest, but Sirius held up a finger to Remus's lips to hush him. "You _are_ beautiful. You're positively gorgeous. Sometimes, I have to look away from you because you're so beautiful, you make my eyes hurt. I think your scars are beautiful too. Now don't look at me like that; your scars are beautiful. They show how strong you are because you go through torture every month, and yet you still have the strength to live a normal life. Most people would be crushed by the kind of weight you have to carry around, but you aren't. That's why you're so amazing to me. You're everything that I'm not. You have brains as well as great looks. You're a good person too, which is much more than I can claim to be. You're wonderful, Remmie. That's the reason that…well, that's the reason that I fell in love with you." He blushed furiously and glanced at Remus nervously.

Remus stared at him incredulously. Did he just hear Sirius confess that he was in love with him? His ears must be deceiving him! That or he was in one hell of a good dream! "You love me?" He didn't breath, hardly daring to believe it could be true.

"Yeah, I do. I always have. I remember seeing you on the train that first day at Hogwarts, and something just clicked in my mind. I didn't realize until fifth year that the thing that had clicked was love. I was in love with you, Remmie. I _am_ in love with you. You don't have to say anything. After today, I certainly don't deserve to have you love me back, but I just needed for you to know."

Remus could hear his brain singing "Hallelujah". Sirius Black, the most amazing person he'd ever know, was in love with HIM! "Sirius, I love you too."

"You do?!"

"Ever since that first day on the train." The two boys were grinning at each other now. Sirius looked Remus square in the face, his eyes begging permission to do what he'd wanted to do for a very long time. Remus nodded and Sirius gently leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Remus's lips. It was a simple, chaste kiss, but it told them everything they needed to know. Sirius pulled back after a second and Remus smiled at him sweetly.

Suddenly, Sirius frowned at Remus. "Why would you think that James, Pete, and I think that you're weak?"

It was Remus's turn to blush now. He'd really been hoping to put this conversation off until later. "Well, you do, don't you? I mean I see the way the three of you look at me after the full moon. I've seen the glances you give each other when you think I'm not looking. I've seen how whenever I trip or stumble, you automatically reach out to catch me. You guys think that I'm fragile because of the moon. I really hate it, you know. I didn't ask to be like this."

He looked up and was shocked to find Sirius laughing. Remus scowled at him, and Sirius quickly explained, "Remmie, you've got it completely wrong. We don't think you're weak. It's quite the opposite. We think you're incredibly brave and strong. I won't deny that we do give each other glances about you when we thought you weren't looking, but it's because we're worried about you. Things aren't easy this year with NEWTS and you're killing yourself to achieve top marks. On top of that, your 'furry little problem', as James would put it, hasn't been going well this year. We're afraid you're exhausting yourself. We're worried-I'm worried- about you." He paused there, a hint of pink coloring his cheeks. "And the reason that I always reach out for you is because even getting to touch you for a split second to help you is a split second of heaven for me. I love you, Remmie."

Remus softened. He believe Sirius was telling him the truth. "Well, in that case, feel free to help me anytime you like." He leaned over and kissed Sirius to emphasize his point.

Sirius deepened the kiss, putting his hands on Remus's shoulders and gently pushed him down against the bed. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist and pulled him closer, placing his hands on the small of Sirius's back. Sirius was now completely on top of Remus. Hands roamed and tongues clashed against each other. It was the deepest, most intense kiss that Remus had ever experienced. It was also the most loving kiss anyone had ever given him.

Finally, they pulled apart, both breathing heavily. Their foreheads pressed together, Sirius smiled down at Remus and the werewolf could see the love shining in his eyes. Sirius rolled off of Remus so that he was lying propped up against the pillows. Remus curled up next to him, his head resting on Sirius's shoulder. They held hands, both glancing down to see their fingers entwined.

A few minutes later, Remus looked up at Sirius, a puzzled look on his face.

"What?" Sirius inquired.

"I was just wondering why Madame Pomfrey never came to get me this morning."

Sirius looked uneasy all of the sudden. "Um…I don't know."

Remus narrowed his eyes at him. "Yes, you do." When Sirius didn't say anything else, a sure sign of his guilt, Remus sat up and looked at him. "Sirius Black, what did you do?!"

Sirius glanced around, trying to find a way to change the subject. Finding no distraction, he huffed moodily and then confessed. "I suppose she was a little bit busy taking care of Snivillus."

"What did you do to Snape now?"

"Well, James and I were up in the Hospital Wing. James had a nasty scratch on his back from last night. Don't worry about him; he's fine now. Well Snape was up there taking Malfoy in for a tiny scratch. You should have heard Malfoy! He was screaming bloody murder! You would have thought he'd lost his entire arm! Anyway, Snivillus saw us up there and started insulting us. You know, the normal stuff. But then he started insulting you. He was saying absolutely terrible things! He was also alluding to your furry little problem, and Malfoy was standing _right _there! I couldn't let him continue insulting you, so I hexed him. He now has a giant pumpkin for a head and I have a week's worth of detention."

Remus beamed at him. Sirius had been defending his honor! That was one of the sweetest things he'd ever hear of!

Sirius continued explaining, "I saw that Madame Pomfrey was going to be really busy for a while, and I knew she might forget to go get you. I was worried about you, so I decided to go and make sure you were ok. You had a really rough night last night."

Remus reconsidered his previous statement. Sirius breaking the one rule Remus had set just to make sure he was ok was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard of! Sirius must have know that Remus would get angry, but he'd done it anyway…because he loved him. Remus didn't say anything, but just leaned over and kissed Sirius.

They finally laid back down against the pillows. They didn't speak, because what else could be told that hadn't already been said in the kisses they'd shared? After several minutes of silence, Remus looked up into Sirius's face and kissed his cheek. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too."

Remus was suddenly reminded of something and giggled.

"Is the fact that I love you funny?" Sirius had furrowed his brow and Remus thought it was adorable.

"No, of course not. I was just reminded of something that I was thinking about after you kissed me the first time.

"You mind telling me what it was?"

"_My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss... O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair…Then move not while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine my sin is purg'd."_

"Isn't that from that Muggle play, Romeo and Juliet."

"Yeah. How'd you know that?"

Sirius blushed. "Oh…well, I know that you like them so much, and I…well…I read it."

"Really? You read it because of me?"

"Yes." Suddenly, Sirius had a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Remmie?"

"Yeah, love?"

"I want my sin back."

**A/N: Click the purple button and tell me what you think. **

**If any of my Legally Blonde readers followed me here, don't kill me for uploading something else before YGM. I will update that story tomorrow. You have my word on that.**


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